April 4, 2008

Paper... or Plastic?










Wouldn't you know it, even the lap of luxury has some dirty little secrets, and in this case, ignorance
is definitely not bliss. Where I work, there are two kinds of people: those who know... and those who don't. Those who know drink from paper cups in the cafeteria. The poor schmucks who don't know use the hard, plastic glasses.

I was one of the poor schmucks once, and I'm forever grateful to the wonderful, Columbian laundry valet who urgently whispered a grave truth to me in the recesses of the employee dining room:

"No, no, you shouldn't drink out of that cup! You see over there, how they have paper? You must drink only from the paper!" she implored in her hushed tone.

Okay...

"The plastic cups, the Arabian men, they bring them to the bathroom so they can pour water on their [insert meaningful head-tilt-and-double-glance downward], you know."

Oh My...

"You see, they no use toilet paper. Only water. So they take cups into the bathroom and leave them there. Then, later, the cups are washed in here with everything else."

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

"So you must only use paper. If there is no more paper, you must ask for paper."

Truer words were never spoken.

I immediately switched cups and entered the club of those who know. Since that fateful day, over a year ago, I have been amazed at how this crude affair is shrouded in secrecy and always discussed in hushed voices - as though someone would be offended if they overheard. (Ooo, the nerve of someone wanting to drink from a poop-free glass!) Even more disturbing is that even now, a
random inspection of the employee cafeteria will still turn up tables littered with a sea of paper and plastic. To my knowledge, the Ritz hasn't equipped the mens room with any bidets, so either people don't know.. or they just don't care. And that, friends, is what troubles me the most.

6 comments:

Natalie C. said...

Ugh, ugh, ugh!!! I wonder where in my sphere of wandering I might have to wonder about the poop-free vs. non-poop-free glasses!!!!!! Apparently wherever there are Arab men. Women too? Ugh.

Natalie C. said...

But if the cups are washed with everything else, does that mean you have to stay away from all the plates and silverware as well? I hope they use a lot of bleach & hot water!

volcom_LC said...

i'm literally rolling with laughter. an uncomfortable place to be when i am sitting in the office sans the light on. this is creepy.

Alifinale said...

Oh, how lucky to have a friend that shared that very valuable information with you. But wouldn't the problem be solved if the Arab men just used the paper and then threw those away when they were done. Maybe someone should talk to them. Ha!

Marc said...

You have no idea how this changes how I look at each and every person at the Ritz...

melbo said...

Natalie- I have never seen cups in the ladies room, so that either means they don't use them, or they just don't do #2 at work (I'm sooo in that category). And thanks for making me paranoid now about the dishes.. :P

That's a good point, Ali! Maybe I should suggest keeping a Dixie cup dispenser in the mens room? I never thought of it!