December 28, 2005

Misery Loves Company

Women have this fixation. Sick female=expectant mother. Who knows where it started, as if women didn't get sick all time from things like rollercoasters, video games and (those damn) Van Damme movies. Women want to see babies-if they're not gushing over their own, their ooing and ahhing over someone elses. They are baby crazy. And if you're like me, childless after 2 years of marriage, you would feel the pressure rising. I can't mention that I feel a little woosy without a flock of hens hovering around, clucking about a bun in the oven. But this post isn't about them, it's about me. I, too, fall victim to the pregnancy preoccupation.

It’s the day after my wedding. We are driving from frigid Salt Lake to sunny LA so we can catch an early morning flight to Hawaii. Shortly into the trip, I start vomiting and shaking like a rabid horse. Hello, where did this come from? Was I carsick? Did I have the flu? Was I PREGNANT? The day after my wedding… is that even possible??? After a long pit stop in Vegas, we came close to missing our flight. I sat doubled over the entire drive and was a complete mess on the way to Maui. A day of resting on the Hawaiian beach brought me back to normal, but I still worried... would we be honeymoon parents? That was definitely not part of the plan. But how could I be sure? What was morning sickness like, anyway? My question was soon answered when I checked my voicemail and learned that much of my family was suffering much like I was. Whether it was bad eats or a sick nephew we may never be sure, but the news was bittersweet. I was sad everyone got sick at my reception, but happy at the same time. I was so, so relieved not to be a honeymoon statistic.

I had another intimate moment with the toilet this morning. More like 6 intimate moments. The last time I threw up was almost 2 years ago to the day. (Our anniversary is Jan 2nd, feel free to congratulate us in blog form.) I was in perfect health yesterday as we flew back from Wisconsin. I never flinched as I ate my Quarter Pounder, fries and most of Marc’s salad. (Writing about it now, however, reminds me of my renewed vow never to eat McDonald’s again). So bowing at the throne today I thought to myself, this isn’t what morning sickness is like, is it? This feeling came completely out of left field. Again, not part of the plan, but could I actually be in the family way? It’s a little much to think about when it’s not on the agenda.

But again, my mom soon called to tell me the extensive list of family members that were also sick. **Stay away from the salami**

And yet again, I was a little glad everyone else was sick, too.

4 comments:

Marc said...

Think she gets ansy when she's nauseated? You should see her panic when her period is a couple weeks off.

melbo said...

TMI, Marc. Save it for your own blog...

Mrs. McDreamy said...

Well, yeah being a couple weeks off is nerve racking, but not totally out of the norm. I just have this to offer, from my own experience and what I have heard - there are many more symptoms that you are pregnant that you may experience prior to morning sickness. Morning sickness usually doesn't set in until at least 6 weeks and is at it's peak from 8-10 weeks of pregnancy. By that time your super sensitive boobs and constant urinating will give away that you are pregnant. So, relax if you have a little food poisening.

Mind Spewer said...

Well, Mrs. McD, you've put my mind to rest. After K-$ and I were married I came back from the honeymoon and spent the next morning throwing up. I was a nervous wreck. But then I noticed that the throw-up was purple--the same color of the gatorade I had had the night before. Gross, but oddly relieving.