Quintessential E & J

Poor dog.



And yes, E was victorious in his refusal to sleep, so we let him stay up to watch America's Got Talent. Go Nuttin' But Strings!

Fey Nails Palin (on network tv)

Just in case anyone hasn't seen this SNL clip of Poehler/Fey as Clinton/Palin, I'm posting it here for your amusement. It's absolutely hilarious - Tina Fey nailed it!



And was I the only one convinced that Amy Poehler was pregnant after she covered her belly with a pillow in that "ugly children" sketch (and during her closeups on the Weekend Update)?! (Her face looks smooshed - I wonder if it'll be a girl!). Hubs confirmed my suspicions this morning, and apparently she's 8 months along. She didn't look THAT pregnant, but I defintely think she carried the weight better in Baby Mama. That's some pretty dang good breeding though, and you gotta admit with Poehler and "Gob" Bluth as parents, this kid is going to be pretty rockin'.

Obama Mocking the Bible Ad = Pile of Garbage

I recently saw a commercial titled "Obama Mocking the Bible" which really rubbed me the wrong way. Go ahead and watch it if you must, but I guarantee you'll be vomiting 10 seconds into it. At any rate, I realize my blog is thus far entirely A-political, and I have decided that, at for least today, it's time for change. Yes we can.

For starters, that video is so full of bile that I think I'm going to throw up. Everything in it is a complete distortion and mischaracterization of the truth. The very first thing I did after watching this piece of garbage (I really can't emphasize that enough) was to read the entire speech online. (Find the video here.)

It turned out to be a pretty great speech, about pluralistic democracy and how by acknowledging and respecting the diversity of religion and interests in our society, we can bridge the political divide along religious lines. I'm very glad I was guided to read it in order to learn the truth behind the appalling accusations listed in the "Sermon on the Mount" ad. His speech (the whole thing, not just 20 cut & pasted seconds) enlightened me with a greater understanding of how to heal that divide and ultimately, a greater respect and appreciation for Barack Obama and his spirituality. So, I'm grateful I was exposed to this piece of trashy sensationalism. It significantly helped to solidify my vote.

By the way, the organization that produced that video claimed on their website that they are "hoping to become the 'Swiftboat' 527 organization of 2008". Purely aspiration: nothing at all on their site about what's good for the country, just efforts to take down the other team no matter how unethical or dishonest the attempts become. I find it incredibly ironic (and quite horrifying) that the driving force behind this ad is the very religious/political divide that Obama's speech was trying to heal. And it's so full of lies! (Certainly makes you wonder if they've been reading THEIR bibles, now, eh?)

If you haven't already, I urge you all to go to the source and decide for yourselves. At least then you'll know the truth and not what someone else is telling you to believe. This commercial will be aired after the Democratic National Convention, and I really hope people don't fall for this crap.

My Little Mowgli and Baloo

I couldn't have planned something this cute: little E, stripped down to a diaper after lunch, watching The Junglebook (Das Dschungelbuch) for the first time, cuddling with his own big 'ole dumb bear.

Cloth Diapering 101

For those interested in learning more about cloth diapering, this is a really great blog. (Scroll down past the nursing stuff and you'll see it, I promise.) The author is what I would call "normal" and really knows her stuff. She certainly taught me a lot - and made me wish I'd seen this a year ago. It's really nice to learn from someone else's trial & error rather than your own (really messy) T & E.

Erich Speak

(I should probably just go ahead and rename this blog to "The Erich Days" since that's all I write about lately...)

To track Erich's progress in learning German (and hopefully to translate at least a little bit of his gibberish for everyone else), I've documented all of his current vocabulary. As you can see a few English words have slipped in there - 'no' being his favorite. I only wish I could include some recording of him saying these words, but this kid simply refuses to be a trained monkey. So I just wrote the phonetically spelled version of how Erich says the word, then the correct German word and the English translation in parenthesis.

1. Mama
2. Papa
3. Opa (Grandpa)
4. Oma (Grandma)
5. Mimi (other grandma)
6. Nummy: Yummy
   
7. Eye: Eier (eggs)
8. NEIN!
9. NO!
   
10. Uh-oh
    
11. Mehr (more)
    
12. Buh-bye
    
13. Oosh: Tschuss (bye)
14. Ball (same in German)
15. Baby (same)
    
16. Koo: Kuh (cow)
17. Eckie: Eklig (yucky)
18. Po (bum - he says this and "eklig" when he poos)
19. Weevee: Revie (his friend)
20. Zah: Saft (juice) or Wasser (water)... He doesn't seem to distinguish between the two but that could be because cup is "Tasse" and he's just saying that.
21. Ahssee: Kashi (as in Kashi's Heart to Heart cereal, his favorite)
22. Ooo-cow-bah: Hubschrauber (Helicopter - TONS fly over our house)
23. Duh-kah: Danke (Thank you)
24. Entee: Ente (duck)
25. Ah-pee: Affe (monkey)
26. Nana: Banana (banana)
27. Bah-dee: Bade (Bath)
28. Shauw - Schau (look)
29. Yay-gah: Jaeger (our dog, not the drink. Also his first word.)
30. doo, dee, die: (combo of one, two, three & eins, zwei, drei)
31. Auf (up)
32. Aus (out)
33. Auto (car)
34. Kop: Klopf (knocking on a door)
35. Ahn-dee: Handy (cell phone)
36. Bibi (his Aunt Rebecca)
    
37. Zee: Ziehen (pull)
38. Shoo: Schuh (shoe)
39. Bauw: Bauch (Tummy) or Baum (tree) -- Depending on what he's pointing at...
40. Neh-mo: Nemo (yes, THAT Nemo. And this is to describe every fish of every color and size, by the way.)

Just yesterday, he said: Pipi (yes, as in 'peepee'), Tiger and Erdbeere (strawberry). We'll see if they stick!

And finally, he makes these noises with the corresponding animals:
Dog: Arf
Cat: Meow
Cow: Moo
Rooster: Ar-OO-oo-ar-Aroo
Chick: Peep, peep
Pig: back of the nose snort
Bear, Tiger, Lion, Crocodile, Giraffe, Bunny, Frog: Grrrrrroaawwrrr!
(We're still trying to teach him that the last few don't actually roar. He prefers things his way.)

I was so surprised while putting this together how many words he actually says! I've been telling everyone he says a dozen but apparently I've been a stinking liar. I'm thinking now I should print out copies and pass them out to all his friends, neighbors and nursery teachers. By memorizing this list, you could probably have an entire conversation with Erich and he'd be your best friend forever.

The pressures on, though.. I'm going to have to up my studying - this kid is catching up to me quicker than I thought.

Binkie Boot Camp

Much to my chagrin, today marks the beginning of the end of binky use in our house. No binkies will ever be allowed in Erich's mouth again. My once beloved and trusted soother and scream stopper has slowly been doing it's dirty work on my son. I felt so betrayed by my little assistants when the pediatrician told me today that they have given E a pretty significant overbite. Ah!! Stupid me - of all people, as someone who wore braces for 3 years to repair the damage of my own finger-sucking, I should have known better. But he is so young and it's something that I never really considered, especially since he really only uses them at night (and occasionally as the previously mentioned screecher plug).

So that's it: I say they're OUT! Wish me luck, though, because this could be a looong couple of nights. And because I'm going to try to (gently) nudge Erich's teeth back every chance I get. (He'll thank me in 12 years when he doesn't have to wear head gear to school and be teased by his siblings.)

Erich's New Trick

Sorry everyone for being away the past few weeks. Every once and a while I have to go anti-internet and focus my energies elsewhere. Just something that keeps me sane.

Hoping you'll forgive me, here is one of the latest things my adorably awesome kid has been doing. Regularly, I might add. I seriously doubt anyone else's child does this and I couldn't be more proud.

Another "Parent of the Year" Moment

Have you ever thought to yourself:

1) This is not how I want my child to act in public, and

2) Maybe he's getting mixed messages when I tell him to stop from behind the camera?

For me, this was one of those moments.

Lies, Lies, Lies

If you know my husband fairly well, then you are well aware that I have been stalking you for the past 6 months. In January, I began shaping my thoughts: what to say and how to say it. In February, I sent you the first email. The first of many, many, many emails. I begged and pleaded with you to send me something, anything, about my husband's younger days. I compiled all of these entries and created a 100 page book and an hour long video; my goal: sum up Marc's 30 years on this planet. And, if you know my husband fairly well, then you are well aware that this is no light task.

I believe I emailed about 500 people. I never officially counted, however the list of email addresses filled 6 pages in Word... so I estimated. To compile these memories, I emailed everyone in Marc's inbox - it was the ultimate in Bohnspam (I did learn from the master, after all). It was quite an adventure: the secret email account, the phone calls, and having to obsessively cover my tracks. After quite a bit of nagging, I received a tremendous response and found myself swimming in memories. Actually, drowning is more like it. I was in over my head.

For the past 5 weeks, I have devoted every spare (and not so spare) second to this project. To say the least, my domestic, wifely, and motherly responsibilities have suffered greatly. My dog has gained weight, my husband has been forced to wear dirty underwear more than once, and I fear my son's attention span has been shortened from all the cartoons I let him watch (even if they were in German). And on top of all this: a thick, woolly blanket of Lies, Lies, Lies. ("Oh, we didn't do much today, hun.. we just went to playgroup and hung out for a couple hours." or "I had to babysit the neighbor's kid all day - it was crazy!" or "I had the worst cramps, I couldn't do anything but sit on my butt.")

I actually have one of those uncommon husbands that asks how my day went, so my defense is that he pressured me into it. However, I knew that if I just picked one or two events to discuss in the evening, I wouldn't be asked to detail the entire day. I soon started making quick jaunts to CVS seem like they took hours. Little did Marc know that I never kicked my rear in gear until I saw him sign out of Google Talk - then I knew I had half an hour to clean, start dinner and move things around (laundry/papers) as though I had actually been productive. Oh, and then make up stories about my daily activities.

I was a bit of a basket case, people. My insides (psychologically and physically) were knotted up for weeks, but the hardest part was concealing all of my stress from Marc. I was smiling my way through hypertension and hair loss. It was worth it, though, and as I wrote in the forward to his book:

"Now that my mission is accomplished, I'm entirely resolved on two things:

1) I could never be a double agent. Leading a double life is absolutely miserable, and
2) I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world. . ."

The project turned out amazing, and each story and picture I surfed through gave me a deeper understanding of Marc and the experiences that shaped him. And when I finally presented the masterpiece, he was blown away. He loved it, and I was even able to throw him a little surprise party/movie screening (even though I got lazy in the end and he sensed something was up). He was also pretty surprised that I was able to find the doll he had as a boy that his parents threw away, "Penny" - a 40-year old antique that I've already had to give stitches to twice. (She's still wet in the picture from her 10 hour Oxy Clean bath.)




SUCCESS! All my hard work paid off, as well as the mountains of help from countless others. (Especially of note are Marc's parents and my wonderful friend, Maryanne, who sacrificed two weeks of her life to work on my video!) Thank you everyone, and I promise not to stalk you again for at least another 30 years!

Happy Birthday, Marc, you old man! Ich liebe dich!!

And that's the story of why my blog has sucked lately. As a special treat, here are some pictures of Erich at his Papa's party. We stripped off his chocolate cake smeared shirt and he decided to wear this ribbon all day instead (of his own volition). This makes me think I shouldn't watch so much Bravo around him (you know, the channel that women love because it's focus group is gay men)...