20 Reasons Why I Suck

Even though I'm not an Anderson (honestly, I don't know if I'm cool enough, and I certainly don't blog enough to even apply, but I sure do love watching from the sidelines), I've decided to join the revolution. I've made a list of 20 reasons why I suck, and in the process I've decided that I really do suck. Was that the point?

Now I don't feel really great about this, but I'm going to post my list anyway -- all under the assumption that admitting my weaknesses will only make me stronger. So here's to a tougher backbone:

1. I feel like I never come across as sincere even when I am. I just get the idea that the person I'm talking to thinks I'm full of crap. I am sometimes, but definitely not always.
2. I have a terrible attention span as a result of putting too many things on my plate. I can't finish anything quickly because I constantly feel the need to move on to and work on other projects. This is also why none of my million-dollar ideas have come to fruition. (This is also explained by the fact that I haven't put any effort into any of them.)
3. I have a lot of trouble remembering things that I don't write down. Tasks to do, groceries to buy, promises I made, lines from movies, names of movies, if I've ever even seen a particular movie, where I put the keys... And then I often forget what I wanted to write before I get to a piece of paper. I'm amazed some days that Marc trusts me alone with our child.
4. I yell at Jaeger for whining when I know perfectly well that all he needs is a walk. And on the same note, I wanted him because I knew he would force me to exercise every day, and I often resent him for it.
5. I usually don't even try to remember the names of people that I don't think I'll see again. Which makes things a little awkward when I do see them again.
6. I don't wear sunscreen, like, ever, except for the piddly amount in my face lotion. I never burn OR tan, so I don't even think of it. It's just plain stupid of me, really.
7. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. If you don't live within a 10 mile radius of me, consider yourself special if I've called you once so far this year.
8. I only have about 5 stations on Pandora and they all play basically the same music, but I still listen to them interchangeably because then I feel like I'm getting something new. I'm perfectly happy with this.
9. I forget to wash Erich's hands before feeding him meals most of the time.
10. I'm one of "those people" that got a Chinese symbol tattoo and didn't know exactly what it meant.* This is only embarrassing every time the conversation turns to tattoos, because you can always count on someone scoffing at "those people".
*Sidebar not intended to demonstrate my suckiness: The tatoo is really small and I got it when I was 18, but the actual meaning ("someone who doesn't fight") is very close to what I originally thought ("peaceful"). I still like it and I'll never get it removed. And rather than wish I'd never gotten one, I only wish I had gotten something else.
11. I don't like like being Poked on Facebook because I think it's a cry for attention, and I feel like I'm obliged to poke back. I don't respond well when I'm forced into playful aggression (like tickling for example, just ask my husband). But, ironically, I haven't removed the application from my page, because I still like knowing that people are thinking of me, even if they'd rather throw an Obama at me than initiate a conversation.
12. I leave clean clothes in laundry baskets throughout the house, and I only put them away when I need the baskets for more laundry. And the cycle goes on and on...
13. I'm an aggressive driver. I cut in and switch lanes at the last second. I'll even run the occasional red light if the coast is clear.
14. I can't stand basketball and complain whenever it's on TV. This makes Marc very sad.
15. I slouch while giving massages and then tell my clients to watch their posture.
16. I'm really picky about my chicken, especially in soups and Chinese food. If it looks remotely fatty or twisted, I'll pick it apart or give it to the dog.
17. I'd estimate that my grill cost $10,ooo, and yet I will still open anything with my teeth. I'm also a lazy flosser.
18. I almost always fall asleep reading something non-fiction - even when I'm not tired.
19. I don't really like listening to classical or jazz music (with the exception of live performances) and I'm afraid that means there is something wrong with my soul.
20. I censored this list. There are at least a dozen things I could've put on here but ultimately decided that they were either too embarrassing to share, or that I don't want to be encouraged to be better. Besides, now you all know about my tattoo and that's more than enough honesty for me.

There, I did it. And I dare you all to do it, too.